I Will Find You
by Elsa007
Summary: Post Wicked Witch, Pre-Elsa in the Enchanted Forest. Outlaw Queen, Snowing, Captain Swan. When Emma is misinformed of Killian's death after his capture by mermaids, she breaks. A year later she agrees to an arranged marriage to help her kingdom. What happens when Killian escapes a hundred miles away and finds out about Emma's engagement? *ON HIATUS*
1. Chapter 1

"Do you have to go?" I asked for the millionth time, no longer caring how winey my voice was sounding. "Henry's on his stupid tour with David and Mary Margaret and Ruby are visiting all the neighboring realms, Roland is off with Henry and Belle and Rumplestiltskin are at their summer cabin for a few months. Killian you and Robin are leaving me and Regina alone together in this castle. If you both leave now there are no promises that it will still be standing when you get back." True Regina and I had been getting along better since the defeat of Zelena and our return to the Enchanted Forest and the past few years we had managed to keep our fights to the 'verbal' sort and leave magic (and fists) out of it for Henry's sake. But with him gone and both our better halves sailing around on a silly adventure, (okay they were calming down the mermaid rebellions and trying to keep all sailors safe but still) along with the peace keeping-Mary Margaret and our mutual friend Ruby out of the picture there was no way that trend would hold.

"Then we can all live on my ship! And by us all I mean you, myself and the lad. Your family is rich they can get their own ship." He grinned at his joke and raised his eyebrows up and down comically in an attempt to get me to grin a little. I held out as long as I could but eventually I cracked a grin and let him fold me into his arms. "Come on, Emma my love. You know that I am loath to leave your side for a second but this is important. The mermaids have been attacking ships without provocation and Ariel and I need to go settle this. They trust the both of us and we are the only ones who can do it. I need a crew whom I can trust and in particular a first mate and I am finding that I can no longer put that amount of trust in Smee. When Robin offered his services I realized it was perfect and we both decided that the sooner we get going and get this solved the sooner we can return to the port and to our beautiful women." I nestled into his arms and shivered as I felt his lips caress my neck. My eyes closed and I held him tightly again.

"Be careful Killian. And come back to me quickly." He kissed me passionately and I felt my knees going week even as he released me and hugged me tightly.

"Always my love. Keep a weather eye on the horizon." I knew showing him Pirates of the Caribbean was a bad plan. I grinned and watched as he slung his rucksack over his shoulder, dove back in for one final kiss and made his way down to his new ship. Regina and Robin were having a similar farewell further down the beach and after the two men climbed aboard and began to make ready to sail we walked towards each other, tears in both or our eyes and stood near one another for comfort. Maybe this wouldn't get quite as hostile as I thought. We watched until the ship became a dot on the horizon and the sun began to set. Even then we were both, as Killian would say, loath to leave this sight for fear that once we did we would never see them again. Finally Regina put her hand on my arm.

"Come on, Granny's making dinner. We should get something to eat." I nodded and we slowly turned back into the castle. My hands shook and I was unbearably nervous. What if I never saw him again? What if he got hurt? What if something happened? Regina seemed to be feeling the same thing and we ate in silence. We didn't say a word to each other in days. It wasn't until Ruby and Mary Margaret returned with some startling news that we said a single word. And even then it wasn't much. What was wrong with us? Killian and Robin had to leave all the time for affairs of the state, or just to get some "guy time" but this time felt different. This time felt more intense. This time, felt dangerous.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey readers! I hope you are enjoying this fic! Please please review and let me know what you think!**

"Emma come on, you have to get out of bed! You have to get dressed!" I heard Mary Margaret's voice but I didn't move. How could I? Robin had been home for two weeks now and he swore that he personally saw the sea monster grabbing Killian and dragging him under. Ariel was missing too and Eric was as much of a wreck as I was. I hadn't gotten out of bed in days and I was perfectly fine with that. The pillows still smelled like him. I had taken one of his shirts and I was curled up in it now. I smelled like him. If I closed my eyes I would dream of him. I would dream of his arms, wrapping around my waist and pulling me in for a kiss so electric fireworks would go off over my bed. I would dream of the way he traced the contours of my back and legs as he lay wide awake, with me in my half-sleep stages early in the morning. I would dream of the way it felt to just be near him. I would dream of us sitting, curled up together and talking into the early hours of the morning. I dreamed and wished so hard that it was all real. But then Mary Margaret or David would come barging in and force me to eat something that just felt like sawdust in my mouth and try to get me to get up, shower, wipe away his scent and get on with my life. Like either of them wouldn't be doing this exact same thing if the other was ripped away from this world without even the chance to say goodbye. When I refused to open my eyes she sighed and left me alone. Finally. Suddenly I felt the mattress shift and a small body curled up around my arm.

"Emma?" A small voice asked. I pocked an eye open. Roland. My mother played dirty. "Emma, we're about to have Henry's birthday lunch. He really wants you to come down." I narrowed my eyes.

"No, his birthday is tomorrow! His birthday is Saturday."

"It is Saturday." Roland replied quietly. Damn, I had slept nearly all of Friday without even realizing it.

"Oh no!" I cried. "What time is it?"

"Almost noon."

"Roland I'm so sorry, I meant to get up earlier, I just didn't realize what day it was."

"Can I help you get dressed?" He perked up at this. I smiled and nodded as he ran off to my wardrobe. For some reason, after seeing Regina's wardrobe he liked nothing better than to pick out gowns for all the women in this court. It bothered Robin, as he wanted a son who was a bit more of a tough, outdoorsy type but it amused the rest of us to no end. Henry in particular loved it when I let Roland dress me in a gown rather than my usual jeans and jacket. Or lately Hooks shirts over sweatpants. After I slipped into the over gown he had chosen, (Red, a color too happy for me but that made Roland grin like the sun) the black leather pants that went under the pseudo dress and the black heels he'd shoved at me I brushed my hair and washed my face, ready to go face the world. I took Roland by the hand and he led me down to the grand hall. When the door opened everyone stopped speaking and stared. I ignored them a smiled at my son. He grinned broadly and ran over, giving me a hug.

"Sorry I wasn't down sooner, kid, I didn't realize it was Saturday already." The minute the words left my mouth and echoed around the hall I realized how pathetic they sounded. "Happy Birthday Henry!" I finished weakly. Thankfully my son just hugged me with a smile and dragged me back over the table.

"Mom, look what Granny made! You've got to try some of this!" he started shoveling food onto my plate, clearly trying to get me to eat. I smiled halfheartedly and looked over at Regina.

"Regina, can I talk to you for a minute?" She nodded and untangled her fingers from Robins before following me across the room. I tried not to feel jealous but that green twinge of anger bubbled up in my stomach. I shoved it back down and took her hand. "Thank you. For taking care of Henry so well. I know that I've been pretty MIA and with Neal gone it's so good that he still has a caring parent like you planning this party and making the day perfect and everything."

"You know Swan, I think that's the most words you've said in months!" She tried to joke but stopped almost immediately after seeing the look on my face. "Hey, I get it, really. I thought Robin was dead for a while too but he showed up. I know he's saying that there isn't any hope but I think there might be! I know the locator spell didn't show up anything but you have to keep hoping. I was there and it was hope that helped me through."

"The difference being that I have eyewitnesses saying that he's gone. With you he was just gone a month or two longer than expected." She nodded, and I mentally thanked her for not noting on my bitterness.

"The point is, this easily could have gone the other way around if Hook had come back and Robin had died, I'd be the one refusing to get out of bed, or take a shower or get dressed and you'd be the one parenting Henry. You'd do it for me so of course I will do it for you." I nodded and turned to leave but before I could she wrapped me in a hug. I stiffened at first, not expecting the gesture but eventually melted into it. She was the only one who had had a glimmer of what I was going through when pieces of the Jolly started floating into ports around the lands.

But Robin came back. And Killian didn't. And he never would.


	3. Chapter 3

"Emma!" I called out, as loudly as I could. She glanced back over her shoulder, her luscious, long hair fluttering in the breeze temptingly, giggling as she gestured for me to follow her through the garden. "Swan, wait! Wait for me!" I cried out desperately as I hobbled forward. I winced and fell to the ground, the pain in my leg excruciating.

"Come on Killian! Catch up! Come find me!" My beautiful siren Swan ducked behind a hedge and I became dizzy, the pain taking over as I forced myself to walk towards her. It took my forever, the pain became crippling and I had to drag my body along with my hook as I lay on the ground. But when I got to the hedge she wasn't alone. A mysterious dark stranger stood there, kissing my Swan, holding my love in his arms. "Emma?" I asked, my heart breaking into a million pieces.  
"You took too long!" She insisted angrily. "You took too long so I married this one instead." They started running, hand in hand but the pain was too intense for me to follow them.

"Swan!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. "Emma!" but she didn't look back. The pain began increasing exponentially. It was horrific. The world was blackening and I had to scream to let off some of the pain. Someone was shaking my shoulder but the pain was blinding. When I finally was able to open my eyes the garden had disappeared. I was in a small wooden room, lying on the floor. A girl sat beside me and though I couldn't make out her face I knew it wasn't my Swan. She had red hair and her touch was not at all like Emma's.

"Hook." The woman said. Her voice was nothing like my Swan's either. "Hook, come on. Wake up. You've got to wake up."

"Who are you?" I mumbled breathlessly as I panted in pain.

"Come on you stupid pirate. Wake up!"

"Who. Are. You?" I breathed.

"It's me you idiot. Come on, I need you to wake up and prove to these idiots that I'm not transporting a dead body. You do want to get home to Emma right?" At Emma's name my eyes flew open and I focused hard on the girl's face.

"Ariel?" I asked, confused. "You're a mess." She turned to face someone and narrowed her eyes angrily.

"See? He's speaking. He is clearly not dead which means I clearly didn't kill him! I'm getting him back to his true love who happens to be a purveyor of magic. She can fix up his leg and he'll be fine. Will you please let us go now?" I tried to listen for the response but I found myself drifting back to sleep. I dreamed of the incident. Of the idiot who shot at the mermaids. What kind of sailor was that? You never shot at a mermaid! The ship was falling to pieces around me, my beloved Jolly being torn apart. I yelled at Robin and his men to get into a life boat and they did but by the time I got around to getting in one myself the remaining vessels had been smashed by the sea women. Their cackling laughs filled the air and a great sea beast rose up from the depths and wrapped its slimy tentacle around my right leg. I tried to stab it with my hook but it just grew angry and squeezed. The beast nearly crushed my leg by the time it dragged me under the water's surface. The last thing I heard was Robin screaming my name. By God I hoped he had the good sense to keep moving away from the wreck, back to Regina. I knew he'd take care of my Swan until I got back. As I dreamed the truth came back to me and I remembered what happened next. The beast loosened its grip and a great merman with a golden spear of sorts shots some magic-y stuff at it. The beast sunk back down to the depths and Ariel appeared beside the man. She pulled me to the surface and I nearly passed out from lack of oxygen but I took a deep breath when I reached the sweet, sweet air. The Jolly was spreading in pieces around me and I knew there was no hope for it. That was okay. I didn't need her anymore, not when I had my Swan. Ariel would have gladly taken me back to Emma at that moment but the water began to swirl around us. I glanced down and noticed that she was wearing a portal bean. It had hit the water in such a way that it had activated a portal. I thought of Emma and hoped desperately it would take us back to her side but she had been thinking of Eric and the bean got a bit confused. Neither of us knew exactly where we were and her head was so dizzy she wasn't able to turn back into a mermaid, let alone swim between realms. My leg was crushed and I couldn't walk. She had paid an old woman in this realm to fix me up and although I was certain it was healing it hurt like hell. We made our way slowly to the castle of an old man who allegedly could create portals. I needed to get back to my Swan. I needed to find her. Preferably before she got sick of waiting and moved on.

As it turned out the man was a hoax. All he had were stale beans. Normal, regular, average beans. The kind you can eat. Not the kind of bean that could take me back to my lovely Swan. For the first time since Emma saved me from the dark and miserable place I had been in after Milah's death I seriously considered tearing the man limb from limb with my hook and teaching him a lesson about lying. However since I could barely walk Ariel was able to pull me away fairly easily.

I dreamed the dream again.

And again the next night.

And the night after that. I would continue to live this nightmare every single time I closed my eyes until I reached her and found her waiting for me.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer of sorts: I know I haven't updated in a few days and to be honest I probably won't be updating again soon. I have signed up for NaNoWriMo-I realize many of you don't know what that is, allow me to digress. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writers Month and I will be spending the next 25 Days or so attempting to write an entire novel. Yeah. That doesn't really give me a lot of time to write fanfiction:( so likely I will not be updating until December. I hope you all stay with me-I PROMISE I will be back! Thank you all for understanding and thank you so much for reading my work! Your support means so much to me!

XO

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